Worthless and Weak

Ahh!!!

Tonight, my friends. I didn't sleep at all. And I'm going to eat a nice breakfast! YUM! Hopefully, I can reset my sleep schedule by going to bed at about 9 Sunday night. Hopefully, I'll be able to keep myself awake through it all.

On to other things. First of all, I'm not as confused as I used to be. Yeah clarity. Secondly, Seth has peaked. Seth, old buddy old pal, its all downhill from here. You've already reached the pinnacle of your existance, there's nothing in the future that will compare to it. (you know what I'm talking about).

In Tarot cards, death means change. This is because the readers can't predict that you will die, because if they do its very easy to disprove them. Anyway, so death symbolizes change. Am I the only one who finds this silly? Life means change. Your life isn't what it used to be. It has changed, it will change, its changing right now. And, I have come to the realization that you can't hold on to everything. Living is the art of letting go. Everything that I've ever held onto has changed, and I have had to have learned to adapt. I guess that I'll have to realize that things change, and not everybody will be exactly the same people that I learned to love.

I remember the first time I learned that lesson, in Jefferson City Tennesse, at Carson-Newman college. I was on my third mission trip, and the composition of the group changed a lot, and the general attitude was incredibly different. And I absolutely hated it. It wasn't the youth group that I fell in love with, it wasn't the youth group that I knew that I wanted. And I fought it for most of the week. Finally, one day I just realized that things changed, and I accpeted that change, and I felt much much better about the trip. And I think that I learned a valuable lesson, one that I'll learn again and again and again.

Saying goodbye is totally opposite my personality. Whenver I find something good, I just imagine that my entire life will be spent doing it. When I first joined the youth group, I imagined that I would spend my entire high school years in it, continue with it while I was in college, and then gradually become a leader, until I'm an adult. I'd grow old, and still go with the group. I was entirely ready to dedicate my entire life to something after only a little bit. Anyway, thats just my personality, I never think that I'll leave something when I join it.

So, you might be wondering what I'm going to say goodbye to. Nothing really, I just think that at this point in my life, I need to look to the future, and not be constrained by my past. So, here's to the future, perhaps it will come tomorrow!

So, go in to the future! Remember the past, but prepare for tomorrow, and have a nice day!