Worthless and Weak

Well, yes, its that time of year again. You know what I'm talking about. Award season. Yes, thats right, the GL awards are being announced this very moment.

Yet again, Seth wins another honorary GL award, as he was yet again my roommate for part of last year, and anybody who puts up with me for that amount of time gets an award.

Next are the general Megan and Seth awards. I seem to know an inordinant number of Seths and Megans. (For instance, how many Seths do you know? I once roomed with two people named Seth at the same time!) Anyway, I just want to recognize the best of the best when it comes to Seths and Megans.

So, first the Seth award. The winner is Berkowitz, who, on my birthday hike, could have greatly overreacted to a certain incident, but instead chose to understand and forgive and not ruin my birthday. So, here's to you Seth!

Second, the Megan award. This year's winner is Stuart, who I saw a movie with, talk online with frequently, went to her high school play, and other stuff. And, although she is the servant of Trebla, she is still a pretty cool person. Here's to you Megan!

Next is the quote of the year. The runner up is:

"Hey! I don't like it, but a bucks a buck." -Me, sounding bad when taken out of context, but sounding much, much, much worse when put into context.

And the winner is:

"Dude! If we get Dead or Alive X-treme beach volleyball, we won't need girlfriends!" -Me, again, to Luke, talking about or Lady troubles.

Next, is the prestigious Garrett will name this award later award, which goes to the coolest person I met during the year. This is supposed to be a kind of a rookie of the year award, like, the person who I expect to make the most positive effect in my life. Last year's winner was Luke, and he went on to make a significant impact on my life this year.

I really wasn't sure who should get this award. Jon and or Brittany definately fit all the criteria, as they are both likely to effect my life in 2004 and beyond, but they really aren't the idea of the award, as they really had a lot of stuff to do with my life for the past year. I mean, the GWNTALA shouldn't go to a person who is nominated for the GLPOTYA. Anyway, but I'm gonna give it to Jon anyway, in fact because he didn't have as much to do with my life is Brittany, which definately shouldn't be the criteria for winning any award, but it is. Congrats Jon, you won on a technicality. Other people who have won on technicalities include Dale Alexander, (1932 AL batting title) and George W Bush, (2000 US presidential election).

Now, for the moment you've all been waiting for. The GL person of the year award. The nominees are...

Luke, Jon, Brittany, the 2003 Boston Red Sox, Mary, Salim, and John Kerry. Except for John Kerry, who is on the ballot due to a bit of a technicality, everyone had a positive impact on my life. I want to thank all the friends in there for being my friends, and wish the best of luck to the Red Sox, who will win it all this year, (already a half-game above the Yankees!!!).

But, one person stands out more than anybody else. And that one person is.........





Salim Furth. Now, this is by far the most controversial GL award yet, as it has been awarded to Sailm for two reasons, both of which occured not in 2003, but in 2004. But, the voters have spoken, and Salim won. Anyway, he won for two major reasons. First, pity. Yes, I am truly sorry for all those rejections, so here's something that might cheer you up. Secondly, your moustache. You have this ability to have quite daring looks, without crossing the line (like say, Seth Burton does). Anyway, congradulations on your win. And here's encouraging you to try out for the WORLD BEARD AND MOUSTACHE CHAMPIONSHIP to be held in London in 2005.

Anyway, what have you won? A free dinner, on me, at anywhere that isn't too expensive. A hug. And an honorary doctoral degree from the Logan institute of elevator logic. Congradulations Dr. Salim Furth!!!!