Worthless and Weak

The most dreaded words anywhere, from anyone, are, "we need to talk." So, I'm sitting in my room, minding my own business, not bothering nobody. And then comes my mother, and she's like, "Garrett, can you come down for a second. There is something that your father and I wish to discuss with you."

Lets see what we could possibly be discussing. Hmmm, well, they could be telling me that I'm going to get a raise in allowance. Or that they have decided that I need a new sportscar. Or perhaps they are in some way shape or form dissapointed in me. Hmm, that could in fact happen. Perhaps I've been grounded, or whatever. Anyway, so I ponder for a moment what it could possibly be. And so eventually I figure that I had better get over it sooner rather than later. So, downstairs I go, onward to my doom.

I sit down, there are my father and mother. And I say, "ummm, lets get started."

And they begin, "well, the other day, your brother called-" DING!!!!! Suddenly, its no longer about me. Its about that other kid. He's the one in trouble, not me! I'm all set (for now), and now I've got to listen to whatever it is that Mark got himself into. Anyway, after a sense of relief spills over me, I notice something. Mom and Dad are happy. Thus, it isn't even bad news about Mark, its something good.

And then the next line kinda threw me for a loop. It was, and I quote, "you're going to be an uncle."

You're going to be an uncle. Me, Thaddeus Q McMonster, and uncle. So my first thought was "Wow" followed by "Wow!!!" and then "WOW!!!!" Followed by a series of "wows" with the occasional "egad!." Anyway, congradulations and best wishes to him.