Worthless and Weak

Remember Slim Goodbody? The bizarre guy who wore a unitard with pictures of various internal organs in anatomically correct places on it? As a child, I remember he vaguely creeped me out. Not so much the unitard or the concept of it or anything, just his haircut.

One day in elementary school, it was announced that he would be coming to our school. This was a monumental occurrence. Well, not really, nobody really thought anything of it. The only thing that I remembered about it at all is that it billed itself as "The One and Only Slim Goodbody" The fact that I remember this wording many years after it occurred indicates that they made a big deal out of it. "The One and Only!"

When he finally came though, it wasn't even Slim Goodbody. It wasn't even a different actor playing Slim Goodbody, which I could have dealt with, considering that he is after all a fictional character. It was somebody named "Bill Strong." It's not the fact that we got a reserve Slim Goodbody named Bill Strong that bothers me. What bothers me is that they Specifically advertised it as "the one and only Slim Goodbody," and failed to deliver on that promise.

I've wondered why this happened. Maybe it started out that only the actual Slim Goodbody went to schools, but the program was so successful that they felt the need to hire more actors, but not successful enough to change their promotional material?

Then I realized it. The real Slim Goodbody was supposed to come to my school, but something happened, and he had to miss it, so they filled in with a reserve. And what could have happened? A family emergency? A missed flight? These things could have happened. But thats not what I choose to believe. What I think really happened is that the national icon of children's health wasn't able to make it to my school due to a cocaine overdose.

Cheers!

Garrett

Labels: Slim Goodbody, This tag probably isn't gonna get much use