Worthless and Weak

If you're invited to a get-together with people from your old high school, and you plan on bringing with you a friend of a friend who you really don't know very well, in fact the only thing you really know about him is that he thinks you're quite evil, and when you get there you sit at a different table than everybody else with your friend of a friend, and just talk with him, and then leave, you might as well just not go.

Merry christmas to all you people, except for those who don't celebrate christmas.

Today, something went horribly horribly horribly wrong, and made me depressed, angry, slightly confused, and damn near hateful towards the entire world. On the one day which is supposed to be the happiest of the year, when people get together, and put aside any differences they might have had to join in the celebration of the birth our lord, somebody hurt me deeply. One person, whose name I shall not mention, decided to give me an action figure for christmas. An action figure. I'm 20 years old, what the hell do I need an action figure for? What really makes me mad, as if an action figure wasn't bad enough, it wasn't a GI Joe, or a transformer, or anything cool. It was a Sigmund Freud action figure. Why? WHY??? I just don't get it, and I don't think I want to get it.

Anyway, on a slightly more serious note, there is something that I've been wanting to write about for a few days. And I shall do that now. Ahem.

It feels right. It feels so damn right. But I'm told it is wrong. How can the logical and the emotional be so opposed to each other. I don't even know that its wrong, that's just what I'm told. I'd like to make it right, but I know that I can't, if its right, then its right, if its gonna change, time, not Garrett, will change it. What really screws with me is how other people tell me that its right too, (not that they would know, but hey). In fact, nearly everything I can see points to the fact that its right. But I'm told that its wrong, by the one person who would know. Oh well, I'll just take what I can.

Anyways, goodnight, and have a happy new year.

I saw a bunch of old high school friends today. They are all wonderful people, and I had great times with them in high school. But seeing them again kinda reminded me of how important it is for me to move forward with my life. High school was great and everything, but I guess whatever connection I had with my friends is pretty much gone, and that going forward, I've got new things and new friends in college, and those people are much more likely to be my friends in my future.

Anyway, goodnight. And congradulations and prayers to Brett Favre, who had one of the best games of his career and one of the worst days of his life.

Ten ways to make the NFL better.

1. Convert 2 preseason games to regular season games, making it an 18 game season.

2. When making schedules, no longer match the winning teams of last season with each other, (ie, kill parity)

3. Raise or eliminate the salary cap.

4. Don't call unneccessary roughness unless it is a really really late hit, or otherwise really bad. No more babying quarterbacks.

5. Dancing of any sort should be punished by at least 20 yards.

6. Stupid celebrations, (cell-phone, signing a ball, etc) should be punishable by at least a 4 game suspension. A pom-pom celebration with the cheerleaders should be punishable by a complete ban from the game for all time.

7. Superbowl's should be played at the Stadium of the team with the better record (like all the other playoff games). You don't want to play Green Bay at Lambeau in January for the national championship? Then go play hop-skotch, woman.

8. No more domes. Football should be played in the elements, whether its snow or rain or excessive heat, you play in it dammit.

9. Stop moving franchises, dammit. The Rams never should have left LA, the Oilers should be in Houston, etc. If you want a franchise in Baltimore, start your own, dammit. Or better yet, keep the Colts there.

10. Bring back the bud-bowl.


Anyway, these suggestions fall into 3 categories. First, is the eliminations of "parity." There are no dynasties any more. I remember cheering for the Packers every year, and how every year they would be beaten by the Cowboys in the playoffs. I remember how much I hated the Cowboys. And how good it was when the Packers finally won the superbowl. Now, it seems that there are no dynasties, no teams that are good year after year. I have no interest in the superbowl unless the Patriots or the Packers are playing in it.

The Second category is to turn it back into a man's game. Its a man's game, so lets leave the pom-poms to the cheerleaders, Terrel. And getting hit is part of the game. Troy Aikman has had like 20 concussions. Why? Cause its a man's game, dammit.

Finally, lets respect the fans and history by keeping franchises in place. Moving a popular team because there is more money elsewhere is just wrong, and whenever the NFL does it, they screw the fans.

Coming home, today, I was going to write about how I had a good day. But, I got to thinking, good isn't the best adjective for today. I mean, my day was in fact good, but I just feel that there is a better word to describe my day. The best adjective is definately the word nice.

Nothing important or life-changing happened today. No issues got resolved, I didn't pass any tests, or make any friends, or anything like that. I just had a nice day. A nice lunch, a nice walk, a nice day, a nice dinner, a nice drive home. I've certainly had better days, but dammit, when days like these come along, but if you can't enjoy them when they come around, then you're in for a long, bad, disappointing life. So, thanks to everyone who I saw today, and have a great night.

Quote of the day: "Wait, that doesn't work. Vampire is one word."

Imagine if you will, the Red Sox are scheduled to play the most dreaded of rivals, the New York Yankees. You can't remember if you've ever been this excited before, you simply can't wait for it. Now, imagine, you manage to buy tickets to game 1, at Yankee Stadium. On the day of the game, you drive from Boston down to New York in the morning, listening to Talk radio, and generally not believing that this is possibly happening. You are so happy, this is going to be one of the greatest things ever. When you get to Yankee Stadium, you look at it, take a deep breath and say to yourself, "this is it, this is the moment I've been waiting my whole life for. Here we go." And you walk into the stadium, knowing that you'll remember this day for years to come. And as you sit down, the PA system gives the following annoucement, "attention, ladies and gentlemen. The league would like to announce that, after reviewing a play at the plate in game three of the ALDS, we have determined that the Oakland Athletics were in fact the rightful victors of that game. Therefore, the competition today will not be between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees, as advertised, but rather between the Oakland Athletics and the New York Yankees. Sorry for any inconvinience."

Thats about how I've been feeling the past week or so. Complete disbelief, something I thought that I had, I didn't. And its killing me.

Monday early afternoon, something happened that ruined my whole day. Monday night, I had a conversation, which kinda made my day very very bad. Tuesday, I spent almost my whole day writing a paper, until Tuesday night, when I had another conversation, which was probably the worst thing yet. Tuesday night, I didn't sleep, and wrote my paper. Wedsnesday, on no sleep, I turned in my paper, and was tired all day. I was glad when Wedsnesday was over. Thursday and Friday weren't all that bad, (except for a piece of jerkery by Luke), so I was thinking that maybe it wasn't a bad week.

Not at all, today, during work, I nearly broke my thumb. Now my thumbnail is all black on one side, and it hurts whenever I do anything with it. And, to top things off, we've had "the biggest one day storm in history" today and tonight, and I've got to be at work at 630 tomorrow. Oh joy.

Quote of the week:

"Dude! If we get Dead or Alive: Extreme Beach Volleyball, we won't need girlfriends!"

Its been a bad week, and I'm glad that its over. See you all next week.

I thought it might be fun to do a multi-pronged approach to writing about my day. So you can get my day from several different perspectives.

Perspective 1, a fake, live journal post.

Current song: Quiet Riot- Love's a Bitch

Current mood: I'm feeling several emotions right now. I guess disbelief and disappointment.

I'm 20 years old, and I'm gonna have my fair share of rejections. And, who knows, I might get one thats really really bad. But, if I live to be a hundred, ask a girl out every day for the rest of my life, and they never say yes, well, I wouldn't be suprised if I don't get a rejection half as bad as the one I just got, I won't be suprised.



Perspective 2, a fake girls-suck post.

Girls suck when you have a big crush on one, and you really think you're becoming good friends with her, and then you ask her out, knowing that even if she says no, you'll still be good friends. And then she doesn't talk to you for a month. And then, when she does, it turns out you were never as good friends as you thought you were.



Perspective 3, a classic worthless and weak post.

Sometimes I feel like a million bucks. Sometimes I feel worthless and weak.



Perspective 4, a paper that I should be writing right now.

In order to gain status in Haida society, a young man must first hold a potlatch, in order to prove that he is both worthy of his name, and of any human contact at all.

Well, goodnight, I hope that your doing better than I am. (and the sad part about that is, that if you're reading this, chances are you are Luke Jones, and you are in fact doing worse off than I am).

A while ago, I destroyed the universe. I guess I shouldn't call it the universe, perhaps I should call it the thing that was. Or better yet, the thing that will never be. Anyway, I destroyed it completely and totally, so that it only existed as a memory of mine, and then as a dream, and then as a memory of a dream, and then as a memory of a memory of a dream. So, now, all I know about it was that it existed, that I destroyed it, and that I didn't like it very much.

And I promised myself that I would never again destroy the universe. Ever. Because I'm not sure what it would create, and there is in fact enough good in the universe that I wouldn't want to jeapordize all the things that have happened.

Anyway, today, things happened, and things were revealed, that really, for lack of a better term, pissed me off. Now, its not anybody's fault, (maybe a little of mine) so you needent feel that you've somehow let me down or anything, but its just the way the universe is set up that kinda makes me feel angry and frustrated and like I have no options. Well, anyway, tonight, if I have the opportunity, I might just destroy the universe, if only out of spite. So, if you don't wake up tomorrow morning, that might be the reason why.