Worthless and Weak

Well, I said that the GL person of the year award would be announced yesterday. Well, I had made my decision, and was prepared to announce it, however, I couldn't access the internet. So, I apologize to all those who tuned in yesterday to see them, and didn't. But, today you will see who wins it all!

First, however, we are giving out the honorary GL awards first. The first GL's go to those people out there who do something that most normal people cannot even dream of doing. They put up with me. So, here's to my roommates, present and past, Seth Burton and Nick. I can't think of a time this year when either of you have complained about me, and both of you have neither become angry with me, that I can remember. The two of you are great human beings, and I'm luck to have roomed with the both of you. You guys rock.

The second honorary award goes to Luke, for his idolization of me. I don't think that I've ever been idolized before, but damn it feels great. And what makes it so good is the fact that you are an all around good person. I think you rock. But you're the best suprise this school year, and you might just be the best thing that happened to me this fall. You're great!

Finally I'm going to stop and recognize those who are no longer with us. First of all, my Grandmother, Grace Logan gets a very special GL award. I remember all the times I went down to North Carolina to see her and my Grandfather, and they would always take me to the department store and buy me whatever I wanted. I remember eating her fried okra (I probably spelt that wrong), and her cornbread. They don't make that stuff up north. She was a terrific woman, and a marvelous human being. Grandma, I'll miss you.

Secondly, my dog, Schooner, is an old dog, and is getting very sick, so my family decided today to put him sleep this coming Tuesday. I know its for the best, he looks like he's in constant pain, and spends probably 98% of his time lying on the ground, doing nothing. I'm going to miss him. He was a great, great, great dog. Always there begging for food. We'd always know when a car drove past, because he'd bark about the loudest bark you've ever heard. I could always go to him and cheer him and myself up by giving him a treat, or by petting him. He was a blessing, and a truly great dog. He was a part of my family, and I'm sorry to see him go. You will be missed, schooner.

Now, for the moment you have all been waiting for. The GL person of the year award. It was a close contest, and it really came down to the wire, but I think we can all agree that the person who eventually won it definately deserved it. The nominees are:

Seth Burton, Trebla, Bill, Bruce "Satan" Soule, Melissa, Thomas Dolby, and finally Jerry Love.

They all made a large impact in my life this year, and (except perhaps Trebla) all impacted my life in a positive way. You should all be proud of your accomplishments. And the winner is.....



BILL!!!! In January or so, Bill purchased GTA3, which consumed large amounts of my life. I happily played that for hours, handing off the controller to Seth and Mickey. You might not know it, but you really made my life a lot better last winter. In addition, access to your large collection of DVDs allowed me to see clasic movies that I really wanted to see, but for whatever reason didn't, and you kept me busy for a long time with that. And, I got to see all the Stanely Kubrick movies that nobody ever saw (like Barry Lyndon, or The Killing). Finally, what set you apart from all the other nominees is that very recently I managed to acquire an umbrella that once belonged to him. Umbrellas are part of my plan for world domination, so I that definately helped him.

Not much going on today. Not much going on tomorrow either, unless somebody wants to do something. But anyway, life is boring, call back later.

I've still got some christmas shopping left to do, and boy will I ever do it. Perhaps with somebody, perhaps not. You don't know!!!

Yup, my life is boring. See you all later.

Sorry for not updating for several days. My bad.

My dog is getting really really old. And he might not have much more time left on earth. Although I'm sure thats just me being scared, and he's going to be around for years to come. But he's so cool, and he's been the best dog ever. EVER!!

But on to other matters. I'm home and will be for the christmas season. So there.

I was going to publish my list of gift ideas, maybe I'll do that tomorrow. Ciao!

to quote myself:

"there is no joy in sleep itself. The joy one feels when one sleeps is of being tired, and being able to rest. You become tired because you did things, and the rest allows you to appreciate the things you've done, and to prepare for more things yet to come. When one does nothing, he rests from nothing, and thus his sleep is worthless. How well will you sleep tonight?"

I wrote that to use as an away message, and decided to put it up whenever I've felt that I accopmlished something that day. Other times, I would just have a different away message. So, last year I had great pleasure putting that up and knowing that I had done something. This year, I haven't put it up a single time. Not once. So I guess its official, from getting to school, to today, I haven't accomplished a single thing. Not one. Not when I stayed up two days straight writing a paper and studying for a finals, (both of which I think I've nailed), not when I've met new people, not a single time after playing frisbee. Not when I've come to a realization about my life. Not once.

So there wasn't a single time when I thought I accomplished anything worth doing this year. Does that mean that I'm a completly pitiful worthless person? I hope not. I've had two real goals since coming here. Two very different goals, and one could say that they are in conflict with one another. Both of them seem utterly unattainable, which really sucks, and I don't know where to start with either of them.

I guess I might have learned that wanting something really badly isn't always enough. You've got to be intelligent about it and work hard towards it. Well, through the grace of God, I've attained one of the goals before, and I guess I want it back now. I know it's possible, because I've done it before.

So, here I am, perhaps further from both of my goals than I was before they were huge priorities. Well, who cares, (not you, thats for sure). Life sucks if you just remember the good times. I've learned that you've got to look to the future. Thats what you really need to do. And, I guess that means I'll make a good try at the attainable goal, and say bye-bye to the unattainable one. And hope, and pray for the best.

Sorry for being deliberately vague, but the chances are you might already know exactly what I'm talking about, if you're one of my friends.

Interesting night. Quite silly actually. I might have made certain impressions upon people that I don't want to make, but are actually probably true! Damn people! Why can't you all just be robots!! Stupid thing!!

So, I beat the Cleveland Browns in Madden 2K1 today. Boo-yaaa!!! I rock!!! The Browns suck!! I can now die a happy man.

Mickey is really a really happy person. If I was as happy as Mickey was, why then, I'd be slightly happier than I am now. w000t!!!

I'm going home on Sunday, so I have to pack tomorrow. I'll have fun in the days to come, though. FUNFUN!!!

Time to blog:

College is a great exercise in sleep deprevation. So I ask the question, how long can one person stay awake, without failing any finals? Who knows?

Anyway, I nailed a final into the ground today. I killed that thing. My two roommates left for christmas today, which means that I'm all alone. And things could get awefully boring between now and when I go home, which looks like its going to be Sunday.

Anyway, time to get back to work. If you scroll down, you can see the nominees for the GL person of the year award. Have you been nominated?

Time for the GL Person of the year contest. The nominees were announced in secret two days ago. So I'll announce them publicly. The nominees are:

Seth Burton, for being the 100th person to visit this webpage. Pretty much self explanatory. I've known him the entire year, so he kind of gets a leg up on the competition.

Trebla, for being my arch-nemesis. Trebla has been the thorn in my side for a long long time. He plots against me every chance he gets. He has already thwarted several of my plans, and is probably giving away all my secrets. He is evil evil evil. He's probably been in existance for some time, but I discovered him about this October sometime, which gives him a slight disadvantage.

Bill, for owning a PS2 and GTA3. This wasted huge amounts of my time. Also, his extensive DVD collection helped me catch up on a few movies that everybody but me has seen. I haven't seen him since June/May, which puts him at a large disadvantage. However, if he is going to win, it is going to be this one.

Satan, also known as Brucifer. Evilllll, eeeeevvvvvvviiiiilllllll!!!!!!

Melissa, for giving me somebody other than Seth to watch Anime with much of the Spring and late winter. She still exists, (unlike some people I used to know), but her general tendency to spend lots of time on schoolwork and my general tendency to no longer watch anime means I haven't seen her a whole lot this school year.

Thomas Dolby, for making lots and lots of good music. Not the best music in the world, but good enough to catch my attention. I discovered mr. dolby about last april/may, and have enjoyed him since.

Jerry Love, for amoung other things, having a really cool guy. And being much much nicer than average.

Also recieving consideration: Sean, Mark (I'll miss you mark), Nate, Steffy, Luke, (I think I'll promote you to a level 1/2 (-0) Yellow mage with pink stripes.) Family, Todd, Huskey, Berky, Megan (ohio), Sylvia, Kevin Charles. If you're not on this list, it means that you're not important to me, and that I hate you!

Winners will be announce on or about December 28, or whenever I feel like it.

Yet again I'm up late studying and writing a paper. I figure that I should study more and write less, because I can probably get away with handing in my paper a little late, but not taking the final late. Oh well, here goes nothing.

Anyway, is it any coincidence that the new Secretary of the Treasury has the same name as a character in a George RR Martin series? And is it another coincidence that the rathergood.com guy, Joel Veitch, has almost the same name as a guy who translated Descartes' Mediations, John Veitch. It is a well known fact that gorf is frog spelled backwards. However, it isn't as well known a fact that Daot is Toad spelled backwards! Is this a mere coincidence you might ask? NO! Finally, is it a coincidence that one of the greatest football players ever, Jim Brown, had about the same last name as the team he played for, the Cleveland Browns? I think not!!

I HATE PAPERS!!!

But what else is new. Well, it seems that a particular something, that happens to be really weird, happened to do of my friends in different places for much different reasons at about the same time, or is rather ongoing as I type. Which is really weird. One might also say how its weird how I meet people named Megan and Seth.

Anyway, I saw a part of a movie today that really frightened me. One of those things I see every now and again that just screams "GARRETT! The universe is stacked against you! You cannot succeed! " Those things scare me. But I guess you just have to trust in God that everything will turn out alright, and that maybe the movies don't know quite as much as you think that they do.

Well, thats about all I have to say now. Goodnight.

Well, I'm back in Boston, and hopefully my world won't explode for a couple of weeks. Anyway, tomorrow will be better than today, because its tomorrow, and not today. Today, I don't have a full day. Tomorrow I will, (hopefully). And then I'll start to kick it old school.

Anyway, I figured out that I'm entirely too bitter and cynical. I used to be happy. What happened? I guess I just don't like anybody, and I get bitter entirely too easy. What I need to do is get a whole new outlook on life, one that is much less cynical and sarchastic. I need to be happy, and be nice to everyone. I guess I just need to let go of all the hate thats inside me, and realize my place and everyone else's place in the world. Anyway there are very few people in this world that haven't managed to tick me off at least once. I can only really think of one or two, and with the first one its probably just because I have a bad memory. Anyway, those who haven't rock.

Whats the really deep thing is that I probably don't like myself, and until I learn how to, I'll probably be miserable. I have to spend an aweful lot of time with myself, I should really learn how to like myself.

And finally tonight, great game by Brett Favre. Great comeback, great passes, and an overall great game. You rocked!

So, I'm saying goodnight now, because if I do, I'll reach tomorrow soon. Horray for tomorrow.

Well, a few weeks ago my parents asked me if I would mind coming home one weekend to be with my little brother (aka drive him places). Naturally, I accepted. Yesterday, my older brother asked me if I would drive him to the Manchester airport. So, I drive him to the airport, (or rather drive the car back). A few minutes after I left the airport, I heard a song that I thought was playing in the background on the radio. When I heard it again, I realized that my brother forgot his cell phone, and he was trying to call it so I would go back. I drive back to the airport, and spend probably and extra 20 minutes or so doing that. Upon driving home, I realize that I should probably go directly to my little brother's school, because it was time for me to pick him up. But, I had to kill about 10 minutes there, altough there still wasn't much point to me going home. Then I drive my little brother to a Youth Group sleepover in Wayland, hang out there for about an hour, then drive back home. I have to pick him up tomorrow, and drop him off and pick him up at school again.

Anyway, usually when I have to spend the weekend home with my little brother, my parents will ususally leave money for pizza or something. This time, they just said "we've got lunch meat in the fridge, make sub sandwiches. We have pizza crusts so you can make your own pizza on Saturday." Lunch meat? Why didn't you leave Ramen noodles? That would be a big difference from what I usually eat.

Anyway, I've complained for a little bit too much right now. So, I apologize for the outburst. I can complain as much as a I want, but I seriously doubt it will make me happy, whereas counting my blessings will. So, to stop talking about things which aren't even bad, I will talk about a blessing.

I met a guy on the train today named Byron. He was a really cool guy, and I was lucky to meet him. I've never had a conversation with anybody on the train before, and its kind of cool to know that there are people out there who care enough to start a conversation with another random person.

Finally, I shall end on a sad note. My youth group leader has had a profound impact on me throughout my high school years. His old youth group leader, Charlie, had much the same effect on him. Yesterday, Charlie was in a terrible car accident in Pennsylvania. He survivied, but he is intensive care in Pittsburg. I've met him a couple of times, and he is a wonderful human being, and he deserves our sympathies, and most of all our prayers. So please, keep him and his family in your prayers tonight.

Well, last night I forgot to update. I'm terribly terribly sorry. It will probably happen again, but not for a while. Anyway, on to the bloggery.

What do the following things have in common? AM/FM radio, heavier than air flight, the Panama canal, wristwatches, tea bags, Ice Cream Cones, the World Series, the states, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Arizona, Alaska, and Hawaii, and Dick Clark? Give up? Well, how about this. What do these things have in common? Space flight, color television, the British invasion, the States of Alaska and Hawaii, the Microwave, the Los Angelos Dodgers and the San Fransico Giants? Give up? The first list were things that aren't as old as Strom Thurmond. The second list are things that all happened after he became a Senator.

So today, in honor of his 100th birthday, I will say a few things about Strom Thurmond. He is the only person to EVER win a senate race with a write in campaign. He is one of the few people to recieve electoral votes in the Presidential race as a third party canidate. He served in three branches of government. He served in both the Pacific and European front in the second world war. When he first ran for public offices, he sometimes campaigned with civil war veterans. He was in the Senate for two years when the current President's grandfather was elected to the Senate. He holds the record for the longest filibuster ever, at over 24 hours. He taught himself law at night while working as a school superintendant in the day. Despite having no law school training, he tied for the highest score in the bar exam. And this coming July, he is going to become for the first time, a grandfather. He won the State of South Carolina in some election a total of ten times. He married a 21 when he was in his forties, (she sadly died 13 years later) and later married a 22 year old former Miss America when he was in his upper sixties. He ran as a dixie-crat, a democrat, and a Republican. He met 12 Presidents.

So, here's to Mr Thurmond. You have to respect him, if you're a conservative republican. If you're a liberal democrat, you might just hate him. Now, you don't have to respect him, but I'm betting that when you're in your sixties, you won't be able to get a 22 year old Miss America. So here's to the next hundred years, Senator. Maybe he'll run for President again, who knows.

Anyway, I think that his health has taken a turn for the worse in these past few years, but I think that he might still live a while. Well, I guess I'll do this again in 100 years. Cheers!

This entry was originally supposed to contain ramblings about Seth. Anyway, I've cleared some things up with him. Anyway, he's becoming a better person, I'm just wondering when he'll become as humble as I am. Well, I guess that doing that is something that the vast majority of humanity can't accomplish.

Like Dan always used to say, "Humility, once you think you've got it, you've lost it." Sums up my life a lot. I really do think that I am much more humble than everyone else. Which is exactly why I have to work so hard on it, I guess.

But, what needs working on more now than anything else is my paper. Which, I shall get back to momentarily. Its amazing how much real work you can do when you put your mind to it. And its amazing how little I've done in the past three hours. Although, I think it is kind of amazing that I'm not actually as screwed as I thought I was about a week ago. Anyway, the turning point came when I figured out where to look. Oh, and for anyone out there looking for advice on research, JSTOR Rocks!!!! It has more stuff relevant to anything than any other thing I've ever seen. WoooO!!!! Finally, I think that I might slowly be developing the ability to write papers. That will come in handy for middler year writing, no?

It pleases me to know that I will see my brother one last time before he goes out to California. It will be good to see him. Anyway, here's to Mark's adventures in California! I hope you have a great time there, meet plenty of new people, and find a place where it doesn't snow! Thats probably the best part of it. And go SHARKS!!! WOOO!!!!

Also, I do realize that I should give you an update tonight, and furthermore that I didn't give you one last week, but I've got things to do and papers to write, so I'll say goodnight to everyone. Goodnight.

Well, I had a presentation this morning that went quite well. I'm glad about this. That was the high point of my day. The rest of my day was spent not work for a big paper, except for the little bit that was. So, in retrospect, I'm gonna have to work a lot tomorrow. No sleep tomorrow night!

I really really really wish that I wasn't sick. Because if I wasn't sick, I'd be in a much better state to do everything. Well then, there's not a whole lot I can do about being sick, now is there? Guess I'll just have to go through it while doing lots of work.

Anyway, so I'll be taking the Nyquil before bed, and having a nice night of sleep. Hopefully, I'll feel much better in the morning. Because that is what sleep if for, to feel better about yourself. Goodnight everyone!

The universe hates me. I could be sick any week, but it has to be while I have huge amount of stuff due. Such is life.

Anyway, I just ate Ramen Noodles, now I'm going to have some Nyquil, and then collapse. Hopefully, I'll get up in time for my project tomorrow.

Finally, I'm commited to something that I can't do. Grr!! I hate it when I do that. Well, I'll have to remove that commitment, and make everybody's life much more difficult. Sorry. My bad. Although, I really think that they messed up my finals schedule, because I don't remember it looking like it did when I last saw it. I hate it when that happens! GRRR!!!

Goodnight, and I hope you're not sick.

Back in Boston, ready to rock you're world. Anyway, a few weeks ago I ran across a service that offered free web-hosting, no strings attached. The only catch was that you already had to have an address registered. So, I sadly had to pass. Now, however, I ran across a place where you can register an address for free. I can't remember the original thing! Grrr...!!! Anyway, if you know of this, please tell me. I'll spend more time looking for it once things settle down. So, I hope to expand Worthless and Weak from just a blog to an entire website. Complete with my entire view of the world.

I've got a sore throat. I hope that I don't get sick, cause this would be a really bad time to get sick. Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing people again tomorrow. Well, hopefully, I'll get through this week alive. If not, there's always the week after this.

Finally tonight, I've been looking at my life a little bit. And I think that I've realized that I am a fool. That I am not putting enough faith in God, and that everything will be great when I put my faith in Him. I've walked away from Him, because I thought I could find happiness in other things. Ultimately, however, I know that I can't. And I know that God won't forsake me, that He'll always be there for me. I know that earthly friends are good things, but I have to realize that they are no substitute for the one who really matters. I've never been a "good" christian (I don't know that such a thing exists), but there were times in my life my major desire was to be a better christian. These have also been the best times of my life. So, hopefully, I'm going to go back to making myself a better christian my number one goal, and remove all the other "thorns" that block me from God.